Today's lesson in 'DIY for the terminally inept' was laying hardboard flooring. It began with taking up old lino so that fresh can be laid next week. There then followed an 'Oh, shit' moment, when the lino decided it liked the floor so much it wanted to keep large chunks of it, leaving holes in the floor.
Enter father-in-law on white horse. 'Hardboard' he said. (Actually he first told me that leveling adhesive was needed. 'Easy, I can do it', were his exact words, followed by, 'but it's a big and very messy job. Let's get some hardboard.')
Hardboard was purchased and a lesson in cutting it to fit followed. Now just hammer some nails in. Until you discover that floor is concrete and doesn't want hardboard nailed to it.
So off I went to buy some glue. After four cans of it, I began to feel a bit dizzy. We swapped stories about sniffing in our youth (tippex thinner in physics class for me, chewing UHU for father-in-law), opened the back door and offered a prayer of thanks that it was only about a third of the floor that needed gluing. Nails would work on the rest.
Now all I need to do is get the wretched stuff off my fingers!